What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
