When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
