A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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