Me. At least after what I've been through.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
He better not be in your backpack
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
