After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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