If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
