Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Church boner. Awkwardddd
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
