i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
