i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
