I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
