Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
