how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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