there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
