Whoa Z and x make the same sound
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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