thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
