So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
