You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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