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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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