office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
