Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
