He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
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