Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize