You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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