I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
