Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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