it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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