When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
you win again, gameday.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
