You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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