You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
