my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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