I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
is wine microwaveable?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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