I just saw a hot homeless man
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize