You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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