Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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