I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
