We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
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