I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
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