fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
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