My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
