Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
wanna go halves on a baby?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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