there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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