Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize