Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Randomize
