Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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