I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
