I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
