so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
