So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
