waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
