im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
