I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
