Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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