cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
