she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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