I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
