So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
they're like a gay fantastic four
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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