what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
