i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
