just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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