I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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