Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
