I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
sex in a hospital.. check
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Randomize
