Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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